It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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