Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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