Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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