I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
