In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
