how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
