Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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