operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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