Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
