i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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