glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
