That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
