You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
