is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
