im six kinds of drunk right now
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
