i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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