Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
