perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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