Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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