You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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