apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
