Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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