I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
