similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
