He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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