The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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