she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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