there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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