So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
