we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
