i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
