i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
