i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
