so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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