just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
