If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
