I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
