I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
"it" just moved
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
