So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
