Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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