the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
