haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
