her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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