I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
