He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
