I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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