you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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