Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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