Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
