I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
